This post is going to be a bit different to
my usual posts however; this is something I have wanted to discuss.
I have always gone to a Catholic school for
both primary and secondary education, which means I have been bought up around
white kids. I am fully Indian and am not ashamed to admit it. Obviously if
you’re put in an environment with people of different cultures, you’re bound to
pick up some of the same traits such as the music taste, foods and ethics.
My cousins have all grown up in an Asian
community so they have other Asian friends and listen to different music to me
and watch Bollywood films, which do not interest me. Sometimes this makes me
feel uncomfortable because I don’t know what/who they’re talking about because
I’m not familiar with the different artists. Due to this, I sometimes feel like
I stand out and have often been referred to as a “fake Indian” which I think it
ridiculous. Listening to a certain type of music, eating a certain food or
watching a certain film doesn’t make me any less / more Indian.
The colour of my skin doesn’t matter now as
much as it used to when I was younger. I remember some very rude kids would
call me a p*ki and think that would hurt me. First of all, they were incorrect
and second of all, it didn’t hurt me. Now it is extremely rare to hear this
form anyone which shows that people are becoming more excepting of others.
One thing that does bother me is cultural
appropriation. I remember when I was younger I used to love getting henna on my
hands and I would love to show it off. I remember the kids at school would ask
me why I’ve been drawing on my hands with brown pen which didn’t bother me
because I knew they didn’t understand what it was. Now people of all cultures
wear henna as a fashion statement and this doesn’t bother me but what does is
bindis. Now, people wear bindis to festivals as part of fashion however, I feel
like if I were to, people would stare and think “typical Indian”. Maybe that’s
just my thinking but I used to get teased for wearing them when I was younger
and going to a wedding or function, but who knows, maybe peoples views have
changed on that too.
I often get asked questions and I am happy
to explain and discuss but one question I get asked a lot is:
“Are you going to have an arranged
marriage?”
No. My parents had an arranged marriage and
so did the majority of my family. To me arranged marriage if very dated and I
know my parents don’t want me to have one. I mean the concept isn’t that
strange; two people who have never met get introduced purely to see if they
want to get married. Obviously they don’t go straight into getting married,
they talk for a while, find out about each other and then make their division.
However, I feel like in this day and age, people should be able to have the
choice to find who they want to marry themselves. I have nothing against
arranged marriage but I personally am not going to have one.
I also get asked, “do you have to marry an
Indian?” Again, the answer is no. I am very lucky that I have very
understanding parents who give me my own freedom and are very accepting. They
have told me I can be with anyone I like as long as I am happy. I am very
grateful to have the parents I do because I know some Asians have to hide a lot
from their parents and that is something I would hate to do.
I feel like have gone off on a rant but I
just wanted to share my thoughts. I am proud of my culture and just because I
am westernised, it doesn’t make me any less Indian. I am happy to answer any
questions anyone may have and would love to hear others thoughts and opinions!
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